27 augusti 2006
Drägg
jaha, nu sitter jag här å känner mig. ja, förutom full, även ganska ensam. Vanligt syndrom om man som jag inte fått hem nått ragg från utekvällen. eller ens fått nått ragg för den delen. Jag är ensam, helt enkelt. Å jag trivs inte ensam. Det dumma är att jag hela tiden upprepar mina beteendemönster. Men jag vill inte ha nått strul. Jag vill ha honom. Tänk tänk. Å den som verkar perfekt kan man såklart inte få, där måste man backa för att nån annan hann före, bättre, snyggare, smartare. Vem fan tycker om mig? Vem tycker om Knyttet?
07 augusti 2006
Dåligt
Näe, kan inte sova. Går jättedåligt. Svinkasst. Bajs. Går inte alls. Jag tänker på honom. Skiten. Lo stupido. Lo stronzo. Han som fått mig att tvivla. På allt. Jag vill inte längre. Kan jag inte bara få slippa?? Som ett stort ont som gömmer sig i bakgrunden och ploppar fram när jag minst klarar av det. När jag sänker garden för att se om det verkligen är bättre, eller om jag hela tiden bara låtsas, för mig själv, för andra. Ja, titta, det gjorde jag jhu! Fy fan att det aldrig tar slut. Å här står jag och ler. Fånigt. Glatt. Nervöst. Tyck om mig, tyck om mig, jag spricker om du inte tycker om mig! Fan att jag är så skör. Stor, stark, tålig är vad jag vill vara. Världsvan i alla lägen. Lilla jag. Jag är inte stark, jag är övergiven och ynklig. Så jävla ensam
01 augusti 2006
Måste
Ja, oj.
Jag hittar massa saker nu när jag ska flytta och måste flyttrensa. Jag är bara tvungen att lägga upp mitt tal som jag höll under Engelska C-slutprovet i gymnasiet. Bara tvungen, helt enkelt.
Speech
“What are you optimistic and pessimistic about?”
I would say that I am optimistic about life. My life, the future.
Even though people fight each other, the doom-theories about global warming on earth most certainly is true and humans are still starving to death, I state that life is worth living. Besides, what alternatives have we got?
But, of course, since I am a human being, I’m having a hard time trying to be truly content with life.
I should be happy that I have food on the table, the opportunity to get a proper education and wonderful friends. But I’m not, at least not always. Me, as everybody else in this high-technological, fast speed county create different problems that only exists within us. We have major personality issues, we get fix ideas and we are constantly trying to figure out whom we are. I complain about me, my family, my friends, the food, I complain about not getting everything that I want (as in things) and I often find school either boring or too harsh. My friends are the best but do they really listen to me, or are they, just as me, most of the time too occupied by their own problems to truly care?
Maybe we humans need our crises. Maybe we need something to occupy our mind with, now that we have got enough food, friends, education and no war going on in the vicinity. Maybe we are never truly satisfied?
These thoughts do put me in a sour and pessimistic mood. But although I find it depressing I still (amazingly) try to look upon life in an optimistic way. And at least I’m aware of the fact that I’m not aware of how lucky I am.
Thank you.
Jag hittar massa saker nu när jag ska flytta och måste flyttrensa. Jag är bara tvungen att lägga upp mitt tal som jag höll under Engelska C-slutprovet i gymnasiet. Bara tvungen, helt enkelt.
Speech
“What are you optimistic and pessimistic about?”
I would say that I am optimistic about life. My life, the future.
Even though people fight each other, the doom-theories about global warming on earth most certainly is true and humans are still starving to death, I state that life is worth living. Besides, what alternatives have we got?
But, of course, since I am a human being, I’m having a hard time trying to be truly content with life.
I should be happy that I have food on the table, the opportunity to get a proper education and wonderful friends. But I’m not, at least not always. Me, as everybody else in this high-technological, fast speed county create different problems that only exists within us. We have major personality issues, we get fix ideas and we are constantly trying to figure out whom we are. I complain about me, my family, my friends, the food, I complain about not getting everything that I want (as in things) and I often find school either boring or too harsh. My friends are the best but do they really listen to me, or are they, just as me, most of the time too occupied by their own problems to truly care?
Maybe we humans need our crises. Maybe we need something to occupy our mind with, now that we have got enough food, friends, education and no war going on in the vicinity. Maybe we are never truly satisfied?
These thoughts do put me in a sour and pessimistic mood. But although I find it depressing I still (amazingly) try to look upon life in an optimistic way. And at least I’m aware of the fact that I’m not aware of how lucky I am.
Thank you.
Prenumerera på:
Inlägg (Atom)
